Wednesday, September 29, 2010
#office humour : Dont be a DOG !
A leader leads... A manager drives... And a Dog barks... So don't b a dog pls !
#Ayodhaya 2 : Ayodhya & Jadeja
Instead of a Mosque or a temple at Ayodhya,lets build a cricket stadium.That way we can all criticize Ravindra Jadeja when he plays there
#IIPM jokes : Stupidest blog ever - ARINDAM CHAUDHURI
Disclaimer :
All characters and events in this blog—even those based on real people—are entirely fictional. The following blog is a disgrace to humanity and should be visited at your own risk or if you are drunk and totally wasted.
Funny Chaddi takes no responsibility if you feel queasy after reading the matter of this article or looking directly at the owner of this blog (Mr. Arindum Chaidhuri).
IF BJP PLAYS ITS CARDS WELL, KASHMIR COULD BE ITS BIG CHANCE TO STAGE A RETURN!
All characters and events in this blog—even those based on real people—are entirely fictional. The following blog is a disgrace to humanity and should be visited at your own risk or if you are drunk and totally wasted.
Funny Chaddi takes no responsibility if you feel queasy after reading the matter of this article or looking directly at the owner of this blog (Mr. Arindum Chaidhuri).
IF BJP PLAYS ITS CARDS WELL, KASHMIR COULD BE ITS BIG CHANCE TO STAGE A RETURN!
More than a year ago, I wrote a cover story in this very magazine stating, WHY NOT AZAADI FOR KASHMIR? I argued why keeping unwilling Kashmiris as a part of India was a huge drain on resources as well as on India's moral authority. Moreover, unlike all other parts of India that may also demand independence tomorrow, Kashmir has a huge and long history attached; and worldwide, when such groups have historically staked a claim for their independence, democratic nations have obliged. My article had then triggered a tremendous response – ranging for praise to virulent abuse! I still stand by my point that it is pointless to force Kashmiris to remain with India at gunpoint. This only triggers ill feeling. I have many Kashmiris and Muslims studying in my institute and even working with me. And many are also linked up with me on my Facebook account. When I at times go to their profiles and check out the material that they post, it scares the wits out of me. They are mostly openly anti-India. They write stories of all that they have gone through. They post videos that will make anyone hate India. They themselves almost hate India! And they want azaadi for Kashmir.
Digressing a little . . .
Digressing a little . . .
#CWG Jokes 23 : stupidest man alive #IIPM : Arindam Chaudhury
Disclaimer :
All characters and events in this video—even those based on real people—are entirely fictional. The following video is a disgrace to humanity and should be viewed at your own risk or if you are drunk and totally wasted.
Funny Chaddi takes no responsibility if you feel queasy after viewing the matter of this article or looking directly at the star of this video (Mr. Arindum Chaidhuri).
Just look at his expressions, his dicktion.
After watching this video even Funny Chaddi is all wet and Serious !!!
#Obama jokes 12 : Obama-Lincoln & 20 similarities !
Strange Lincoln - Obama Coincidences
1) Lincoln was elected in 1860, Obama was elected in 2008, nearly 150 years later.
2) Lincoln eliminated involuntary servitude. Obama eliminated private sector jobs.
3) Lincoln and Obama were both married to ugly wives who went crazy.
4) Each man's wife gained over forty pounds while living at the White House.
5) Lincoln was hit in the head from behind. Obama hid his head up his behind.
6) Lincoln was shot in Ford's Theater. Obama shot up while riding in a Lincoln made by Ford.
7) Both men had vice-presidents who were illiterate Democrat senators.
8) Andrew Johnson nearly lived to the age of 67. Joe Biden nearly had an IQ of 67.
9) Lincoln was born in KENtucky, Obama was born in KENya - before both moved to Illinois.
10) LincOln and Obama each had a single letter "O" in their last name.
11) Andrew Johnson had no middle name. Joseph Robinette Biden had a silly one.
12) JOHN W. BOOTH and BILL C. AYERS each has 10 letters.
13) A Kennedy told Lincoln to take care of his health. Ted Kennedy told Obama to pass health care.
14) Lincoln and Obama were both more feminine than Hillary Clinton.
15) Lincoln was placed on the penny. Obama was not quite worth a penny.
16) Lincoln was not a Muslim. Obama was not an admitted Muslim.
17) Neither Lincoln nor Obama ever wrote a book.
18) Lincoln suffered from major depression. Obama caused a major depression.
Tip o'the hat to Gritty-Kitty
19) Lincoln and Obama were both the first President with a beard.
Tip o'the hat to Joe 6-pack
20) Abraham Lincoln had no middle name. You're not allowed to say Barack Obama's middle name.
#Obama jokes 11 : recession, depression & recovery !
It’s a ‘recession’ when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a ‘depression’ when you lose yours; and it’s a ‘recovery’ when Barack Obama loses his.
#Obama jokes 10 : Obama wears turban ?
Q. Why does Obama wear a turban?
A. So he knows which end to wipe!
#Obama jokes 9 : Obama & the Govt. bonds !
Q. What's the difference between Barack Obama and a government bond?
A. The bond will eventually mature.
#Obama jokes 8 : Fast pizzas !
Under ObamaCare pizzas will get to your house faster than an ambulances.
#office humour : How to Hire ?
Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment. Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation
 If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks
 - PUT THEM IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPT.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks
 - PUT THEM IN ENGINEERING.
If they are arranging the bricks in some other order
 - PUT THEM IN PLANNING.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other
 - PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
If they are sleeping
- PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
 If they have broken the bricks into pieces
 - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.
 If they are sitting idle
 - PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
If they have thrown the bricks out of the window
 - PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
If they have already left for the day
 - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
AND last but not least....
If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved
-PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT
 If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks
 - PUT THEM IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPT.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks
 - PUT THEM IN ENGINEERING.
If they are arranging the bricks in some other order
 - PUT THEM IN PLANNING.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other
 - PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
If they are sleeping
- PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
 If they have broken the bricks into pieces
 - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.
 If they are sitting idle
 - PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
If they have thrown the bricks out of the window
 - PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
If they have already left for the day
 - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
AND last but not least....
If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved
-PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
#office humour : Boss says !!!
When your BOSS says "get out", it means you've won the argument.
Ref : http://twitter.com//funnytrends
Ref : http://twitter.com//funnytrends
#Ayodhaya 1 : Ayodhya versus Rajnikanth
n postponing the Ayodhya verdict to the 29th, the Supreme Court has made a grave tactical blunder. Now, the much awaited verdict will have to compete with that great bugbear of all other media events, a Rajnikanth film release. And not just any Rajnikanth release, but Shankar's Robot, the most expensive Indian film ever made.
It deprives this landmark verdict of a deserved place in the spotlight, and its rightful share of public attention. Now, instead of keenly observing the details of the judgement, analysing its nuances, and randomly rioting like responsible citizens, most of the people of India are going to be happy to sit back and let Rajnikanth be the sole perpetrator of senseless violence (albeit of the on-screen variety) in the days following the verdict. It's unfair to religious loonies (the kind that tear down mosques or blow up cars) of all faiths everywhere.
Consider this :
In one corner, we have the unexciting prospect of three sedate, calm judges of the Allahabad High Court reading out a tedious document in obtuse legal language, which also has a high likelihood of containing archaic english words nobody understands. In the other corner, we have a cyborg Rajnikanth dual-wielding pistols. It's a no-contest.
Do the respected judges of the apex court seriously think that their event, while admittedly anticipated and potentially exciting, could hold public attention while, in cinemas all over the country, Rajnikanth is walking a pair of robotic mecha-lions with glowing eyes? At least if the judges still wore those crazy wigs, they'd stand some chance. Actually, maybe not. Rajnikanth has even more awesome wigs.
Additionally, possibly the only group of people in India who are more irrational, intolerant and devoted to their God than the more clinically insane among Hindu or Muslim fanatics are Rajnikanth worshippers. In fact, the superstar's adoring acolytes are so fearless, they aren't even afraid to anger the mighty Chuck Norris, brazenly lifting famous 'Chuck Norris Facts' and recycling them to represent their own main man (speaking of 'main man', I think Rajnikanth would be an awesome choice to play the intergalactic bounty-hunter Lobo in a screen adaptation. Is Hollywood listening ? ). It's an act of sheer reckless devotion, mainly fuelled by the unflinching belief that their own deity will protect them from the anger of false gods - in other words, Rajnikanth will pwn Chuck Norris' 7177y 455.
And while the majority of Hindus and Muslims are indeed quite sane and reasonable, the same cannot be said of most Rajnikanth fans - who are quick to
Even Mr.Norris, who would surely wade into a horde of Islamic terrorists or Hindu thugs with the gleeful abandon of a man with a brand new mosquito-killing tennis racquet chancing upon an unsuspecting swarm, would hesitate to tangle with this hard-as-nails bunch. "Hmmm. Better not.", he might say before beating a hasty retreat, exhibiting a streak of wisdom he never displayed while choosing scripts.Â
Which is why it's entirely unwise and rash of the Supreme Court to choose such an inappropriate date for what is possible one of the most important judgements in the history of the nation.
Here's a question for the honourable judges - what's cooler than Rajnikanth? Rajnikanth playing a freaking CYBORG! The only way a cyborg can be any more awesome is if it was played by Rajnikanth. The court should feel grateful that, at least, he isn't playing a cyborg ninja vampire. On a Harley-Davidson. But this is bad enough. At things stand, most people won't even realize that the case that brought down a government and has been raging on for 18 years has finally come to closure. And that's not right.
However, all is not lost. The court can try and salvage things by conducting a cool PR and media campaign to win back some valuable mindshare. Perhaps they could tie up with mobile carriers to create a 'guess the verdict' SMS contest. Or hire Deepika Padukone and that dude who dates Bipasha Basu to appear in ads that say something along the lines of "I'm looking forward to the Ayodhya Verdict. Are you?". Or hire a PR agency to plant lurid, scandalous (and completely untrue) stories in the Page 3 sections about rumoured link-ups between the judges, lawyers and litigants involved. Or set up a 'Fake Chief Justice' account on Twitter that would pro=ceed to tweet funny jokes about the Ayodhya verdict (and also, by force of habit, about the Commonwealth Games) . Or even arrange to broadcast the reading of the verdict in cinemas, in 3-D. Every little bit helps.
Or, best of all, why not get Rajnikanth himself to read out the verdict? That would be truly kickass. The superstar could read the judgement out aloud, and then fold and toss the document back into his pocket in some impossibly stylish way. That would totally work.
As a responsible citizen, I would hate it if the Ayodhya verdict went largely unnoticed by the masses, in the manner of the last few Akshay Kumar starrers, or the Airtel Champions League T20. It's an important event that deserves to be a part of public consciousness. By refusing to acknowledge the sheer awesomeness of Rajnikanth, the Supreme Court has done the whole issue a disservice.
After all that seriousness, I'd like to end with a joke. Anjaana Anjaani.
REF : Yahoo Columns http://tinyurl.com/234nc6f
#Obama jokes 7 : obama & jimmy Carter !
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Carter doesn't want to be the worst President in history.
A. Because Carter doesn't want to be the worst President in history.
#Obama jokes 6 : heavier than water !
Q. Why is Barack Obama so thin and scrawny?
A. If he were any heavier he wouldn't be able to walk on water.
A. If he were any heavier he wouldn't be able to walk on water.
#Obama jokes 5 : Obama & Britney !
Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.
A. Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.
#Obama jokes 4 : Jay Leno votes
Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.
A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.
#Obama jokes 3 : Barry to barack ?
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
#Obama jokes 2 : Obama and Osama ?
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
#Obama jokes 1 : Obama and the little girl !
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flightsgo quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said toThe Obama, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles.
"OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you aquestion first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know shit?"
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