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Showing posts with label obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obama. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

#Obama jokes 12 : Obama-Lincoln & 20 similarities !

Strange Lincoln - Obama Coincidences


1) Lincoln was elected in 1860, Obama was elected in 2008, nearly 150 years later.

2) Lincoln eliminated involuntary servitude. Obama eliminated private sector jobs.

3) Lincoln and Obama were both married to ugly wives who went crazy.

4) Each man's wife gained over forty pounds while living at the White House.

5) Lincoln was hit in the head from behind. Obama hid his head up his behind.

6) Lincoln was shot in Ford's Theater. Obama shot up while riding in a Lincoln made by Ford.

7) Both men had vice-presidents who were illiterate Democrat senators.

8) Andrew Johnson nearly lived to the age of 67. Joe Biden nearly had an IQ of 67.

9) Lincoln was born in KENtucky, Obama was born in KENya - before both moved to Illinois. 

10) LincOln and Obama each had a single letter "O" in their last name.

11) Andrew Johnson had no middle name. Joseph Robinette Biden had a silly one. 

12) JOHN W. BOOTH and BILL C. AYERS each has 10 letters. 

13) A Kennedy told Lincoln to take care of his health.  Ted Kennedy told Obama to pass health care.

14) Lincoln and Obama were both more feminine than Hillary Clinton.

15) Lincoln was placed on the penny. Obama was not quite worth a penny.

16) Lincoln was not a Muslim. Obama was not an admitted Muslim.

17) Neither Lincoln nor Obama ever wrote a book.

18) Lincoln suffered from major depression. Obama caused a major depression.
Tip o'the hat to Gritty-Kitty

19) Lincoln and Obama were both the first President with a beard.
Tip o'the hat to Joe 6-pack

20) Abraham Lincoln had no middle name. You're not allowed to say Barack Obama's middle name.


#Obama jokes 11 : recession, depression & recovery !

It’s a ‘recession’ when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a ‘depression’ when you lose yours; and it’s a ‘recovery’ when Barack Obama loses his.



#Obama jokes 10 : Obama wears turban ?

Q. Why does Obama wear a turban?
A. So he knows which end to wipe!


#Obama jokes 9 : Obama & the Govt. bonds !

Q. What's the difference between Barack Obama and a government bond? 
A. The bond will eventually mature.



#Obama jokes 8 : Fast pizzas !

Under ObamaCare pizzas will get to your house faster than an ambulances.



Tuesday, September 28, 2010

#Obama jokes 7 : obama & jimmy Carter !

Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Carter doesn't want to be the worst President in history.



#Obama jokes 6 : heavier than water !

Q. Why is Barack Obama so thin and scrawny?
A. If he were any heavier he wouldn't be able to walk on water.



#Obama jokes 5 : Obama & Britney !

Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.



#Obama jokes 4 : Jay Leno votes

Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.



#Obama jokes 3 : Barry to barack ?

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.



#Obama jokes 2 : Obama and Osama ?

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.