#CWG Jokes 12 : Olympic Motto

#CWG Jokes 11

Who is Suresh Kalmadi?

A fox went to Guinness Book of World Record to see if she is still the most cunning animal in the world or not? She came out and angrily shouted. Who the hell is Suresh Kalmadi?

Learn to earn bribe!

Cop 1: We have to learn English quickly. Cop 2: Why? Cop 1: How will we otherwise ask for bribe from these foreigners?

Aamir is CWG Ambassador

CM: We have selected Aamir Khan as the new brand ambassador for CWG. Aamir Khan: All iz well, All iz well.

Medals for money

Man: Which medal do you want? Athelete: But has the CWG started? Man: No. They are selling medals to raise more money.

Ceiling Story

Sad and despondent at he negative coverage for the Commonwealth Games, Organising Committee chief Suresh Kalmadi tried to hang himself.... but the ceiling collapsed

#CWG Jokes 10 : Terrorists Boycott Delhi Commonwealth Games citing safety reasons

In what is being touted as the biggest embarrassment to the Indian Government and the CWG organizing committee, Terrorist groups from all around the world have decided to boycott the Commonwealth Games scheduled to happen between 3rd-14th October 2010 in the world's largest democracy's national capital, New Delhi.

This shocking news broke out late night yesterday after top sources from the LeT & Al-Qaida informed news channels their sudden and sad decision. As per the official spokesperson of the LeT, "It will be a shame that we would not be able to play with our fireworks in New Delhi during the Commonwealth Games, citing safety fears for their recruits, with collapsing ceilings and bridges all over, and with roads full of potholes."

It goes without saying, that the execution capabilities of these terrorists organizations have taken a severe beating with the hopeless infrastructure in place ahead of the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi. The LeT spokesperson added "It has become impossible for our recruits to even roam around in New Delhi easily thanks to the huge traffic jams & pathetic roads, leave aside the mammoth task of transporting the arms and ammunition needed to execute a perfect terror attack".

Viewers all around the world, and specially the Delhi spectators were excited and all prepared to witness the fireworks of LeT and Al-Qaida, especially during the opening ceremony of the Games (unconfirmed sources in LeT confirmed this news). The local population was in a state of shock after the news broke out.

Mr. Aam Aadmi, who was looking forward to the Commonwealth Games in Delhi said"It is a shame that after sporting contingents from different countries have doubted their participation in the games citing filthy accomodation and infrastructure problems, now we even have world famous terror groups boycotting the games. It is a shame and a tight slap on the face of the OC, the government of India, and the entire political class. They are good for nothing!"

Mr. Suresh Kalmadi, the Chairman of the Organizing Committee for the CWG's in New Delhi in response to this major development said "We shall have a world class Commonwealth Games, better than the Beijing Olympics. The terror groups do not know what they are going to miss." In addition, Mr. Kalmadi also burped his future plan of participating in the next bidding for hosting the Olympic Games. Mr. Lalit Bahnot, spokesperson of CWG Delhi said "we hope to welcome the terror groups in future when we host the Olympic Games, and we promise to provide them the best hygiene conditions which will keep them healthy without compromise".

MSN post : Jokes in the time of floundering Games

If you think the Commonwealth Games have just brought grief, misery and embarrassment to the people of the country, you are wrong. The virtual world is flooded with CWG jokes, poems and graphics as the creative sharpen their satirical skills -- bringing on a cynical smile, if not provoking outright laughter.


Ref. MSN news : http://news.in.msn.com/national/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4423821

#CWG Jokes 9

new word kalamadization as in - my toilets are kalamadized. Need to clean them up A dog just kalamadized my bed. 

#CWG Jokes 8

Lot of talk about pulling out of the #CWG. And the thing is, if Kalmadi's father had pulled out in time, none of this would have happened

#CWG Jokes 7

Compromise proposal for #Ayodhya: Let the #Hindus construct a temple, but the project must be led by #Kalmadi.

#CWG Jokes 7

#CWG Jokes 6

CWG Jokes ! Kalmadi Jokes! | The Furobiker

1) Oldest and the best one :

" BREAKING NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the ceiling collapsed"

2) The truth behind bulk sms banning is to stop kalmadi jokes and not Ayodhya

3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher India is ranked in the final medal’s tally.

4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety.

5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)

6) Whats common between CWG committee and students???
Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour.....

7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Delhi, this may be his last chance to become the king!

8) Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games! We now know these countries existed!

9) Ek waqt aisa aayega, kalmadi bhi sharmayega

10) A collapse a day keeps the athletes away

11) Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame. No sir, No sir, we are having a Common Loot Game. Crores for my partner, crores for the dame, crores for me too, for spoiling India's name!

12) AMAZING BUT TRUE: If you re-arrange the letters "Sir U made lakhs" you get "SURESH KALMADI

13) next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games

14) Photo for the last one..!

#CWG Jokes 5

• Congratulations #CWG Organisers. You were commissioned to build a Games Village and you're halfway there now. You've built a village.

#CWG Jokes 4

Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety. 

Who says India use to be 'sone ki chidiya'! It's still 'sone ki chidiya' ask Kalmadi! 

Whats common between CWG committee and students??? 
Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour..... 

With Pak Eng series more or less dusted the bookies will start betting on which roof will fall next at the CWG ... 

The problem began when they decided to call it CWG village. The definition of village does vary from person to person doesn't it? 

The chairman of the indian commonwealth games tried to hang himself but the ceiling collapsed... 

At the 100 mts race at CWG they might fix a board near start line - GO SLOW, MEN AT WORK! 

Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium? 
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)

New full form of CWG: Corruption Wale Games.

The next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games.

#CWG Jokes 3

• And why blame the snake? Even the snake couldn't handle the dirt and was instead heading off to Kalmadi's home when it was spotted!!

The Gift

#CWG Jokes 2

• And what's a snake in a country of one billion people? There are creatures much more dangerous in khadi jackets and cotton sarees!!

Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite - Latest Generation

#CWG Jokes

• Luckily, the Africans only visited the Village and found a snake. If they had gone to our Parliament, they would have seen an entire zoo!!!