n postponing the Ayodhya verdict to the 29th, the Supreme Court has made a grave tactical blunder. Now, the much awaited verdict will have to compete with that great bugbear of all other media events, a Rajnikanth film release. And not just any Rajnikanth release, but Shankar's Robot, the most expensive Indian film ever made.
It deprives this landmark verdict of a deserved place in the spotlight, and its rightful share of public attention. Now, instead of keenly observing the details of the judgement, analysing its nuances, and randomly rioting like responsible citizens, most of the people of India are going to be happy to sit back and let Rajnikanth be the sole perpetrator of senseless violence (albeit of the on-screen variety) in the days following the verdict. It's unfair to religious loonies (the kind that tear down mosques or blow up cars) of all faiths everywhere.
Consider this :
In one corner, we have the unexciting prospect of three sedate, calm judges of the Allahabad High Court reading out a tedious document in obtuse legal language, which also has a high likelihood of containing archaic english words nobody understands. In the other corner, we have a cyborg Rajnikanth dual-wielding pistols. It's a no-contest.
Do the respected judges of the apex court seriously think that their event, while admittedly anticipated and potentially exciting, could hold public attention while, in cinemas all over the country, Rajnikanth is walking a pair of robotic mecha-lions with glowing eyes? At least if the judges still wore those crazy wigs, they'd stand some chance. Actually, maybe not. Rajnikanth has even more awesome wigs.
Additionally, possibly the only group of people in India who are more irrational, intolerant and devoted to their God than the more clinically insane among Hindu or Muslim fanatics are Rajnikanth worshippers. In fact, the superstar's adoring acolytes are so fearless, they aren't even afraid to anger the mighty Chuck Norris, brazenly lifting famous 'Chuck Norris Facts' and recycling them to represent their own main man (speaking of 'main man', I think Rajnikanth would be an awesome choice to play the intergalactic bounty-hunter Lobo in a screen adaptation. Is Hollywood listening ? ). It's an act of sheer reckless devotion, mainly fuelled by the unflinching belief that their own deity will protect them from the anger of false gods - in other words, Rajnikanth will pwn Chuck Norris' 7177y 455.
And while the majority of Hindus and Muslims are indeed quite sane and reasonable, the same cannot be said of most Rajnikanth fans - who are quick to
Even Mr.Norris, who would surely wade into a horde of Islamic terrorists or Hindu thugs with the gleeful abandon of a man with a brand new mosquito-killing tennis racquet chancing upon an unsuspecting swarm, would hesitate to tangle with this hard-as-nails bunch. "Hmmm. Better not.", he might say before beating a hasty retreat, exhibiting a streak of wisdom he never displayed while choosing scripts.Â
Which is why it's entirely unwise and rash of the Supreme Court to choose such an inappropriate date for what is possible one of the most important judgements in the history of the nation.
Here's a question for the honourable judges - what's cooler than Rajnikanth? Rajnikanth playing a freaking CYBORG! The only way a cyborg can be any more awesome is if it was played by Rajnikanth. The court should feel grateful that, at least, he isn't playing a cyborg ninja vampire. On a Harley-Davidson. But this is bad enough. At things stand, most people won't even realize that the case that brought down a government and has been raging on for 18 years has finally come to closure. And that's not right.
However, all is not lost. The court can try and salvage things by conducting a cool PR and media campaign to win back some valuable mindshare. Perhaps they could tie up with mobile carriers to create a 'guess the verdict' SMS contest. Or hire Deepika Padukone and that dude who dates Bipasha Basu to appear in ads that say something along the lines of "I'm looking forward to the Ayodhya Verdict. Are you?". Or hire a PR agency to plant lurid, scandalous (and completely untrue) stories in the Page 3 sections about rumoured link-ups between the judges, lawyers and litigants involved. Or set up a 'Fake Chief Justice' account on Twitter that would pro=ceed to tweet funny jokes about the Ayodhya verdict (and also, by force of habit, about the Commonwealth Games) . Or even arrange to broadcast the reading of the verdict in cinemas, in 3-D. Every little bit helps.
Or, best of all, why not get Rajnikanth himself to read out the verdict? That would be truly kickass. The superstar could read the judgement out aloud, and then fold and toss the document back into his pocket in some impossibly stylish way. That would totally work.
As a responsible citizen, I would hate it if the Ayodhya verdict went largely unnoticed by the masses, in the manner of the last few Akshay Kumar starrers, or the Airtel Champions League T20. It's an important event that deserves to be a part of public consciousness. By refusing to acknowledge the sheer awesomeness of Rajnikanth, the Supreme Court has done the whole issue a disservice.
After all that seriousness, I'd like to end with a joke. Anjaana Anjaani.
REF : Yahoo Columns http://tinyurl.com/234nc6f
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